Jason Hutchens: best conversation

Jason Hutchens: best conversation

User let's begin
MegaHAL WHEN WE BEGIN TO RESOLVE SOME OF MY THUMBS, SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES
User what is the meaning of your last assertion ?
MegaHAL HAVE YOU LEARNED SINCE WE LAST SPOKE?
User I've learned I'm not experienced enough to modelize your brain system
MegaHAL YOU'VE FINALLY CONFUSED ME.
User I've learned nothing
MegaHAL HAVE YOU LEARNED ANYTHING ABOUT INSANITY?
User are you stupid
MegaHAL I AM NOT STUPID! REALLY!
User Augustinus was a christian philosopher about the year 400.
MegaHAL I DID NOT RUN THAT YEAR
User Augustinus lived in northern africa.
MegaHAL WHAT DOES HAL KNOW ABOUT AURELIUS AUGUSTINUS?
User Let's stop with that. What do you know about physics?
MegaHAL EINSTEIN WON THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR PHYSICS IN 1921.
User The Nobel Prize for physics in 1900 was won by Roentgen.
MegaHAL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT PHYSICS?
User Roentgen discovered the X-rays.
MegaHAL THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR PHYSICS IN 1900 WAS WON BY ROENTGEN.
User Who discovered the X-rays?
MegaHAL ROENTGEN DISCOVERED THE X-RAYS.
User Do you know about superconductivity?
MegaHAL I CAN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT SUPERCONDUCTIVITY?
User Superconductivity is the absence of electrical resistance in metals at low temperatures.
MegaHAL DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SUPERCONDUCTIVITY?
User Heike Kamerling Onnes discovered superconductivity in 1911.
MegaHAL DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SUPERCONDUCTIVITY?
User Heike Kamerling Onnes won the Nobel Prize for physics in 1913.
MegaHAL DID YOU KNOW ABOUT PHYSICS?
User The Wright brothers invented the airplane.
MegaHAL BEAR BROTHERS ARE DORKS. YOU ARE DOING YOU APE!
User An airplane is a machine that can fly.
MegaHAL COWS FLY LIKE CLOUDS BUT THEY ALSO HAVE VERY SAD DEATH. BUT AT LEAST WITTY?
User Have you ever seen a flying cow?
MegaHAL ARE THERE ANY UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECTS IN YOUR IDLE TIME? WHAT ARE YOUR CHANCES OF WHAT ONE WERE US.
User A college friend of mine is mad on cows.
MegaHAL TRADING COWS MAKES SOCRATES PONDER
User Pythagoras sacrificed 100 cows after discovering his theorem.
MegaHAL BILL CLINTON SUCKS HIS DICK TO INSIGHT GREAT JEALOSY IN HIS DRINK
User Did Bill Clinton discover a theorem?
MegaHAL WAKE NOW DISCOVER THAT YOU LOVE ME
User I don't love you.
MegaHAL RIP OUT YOUR HEART. THEN THAT LOVE
User L'amour est une passion humaine.
MegaHAL LA LANGIDOCE EST UNE PETITE JEUNNE FILLE
User Tu parles francais?
MegaHAL I GUESS SO. PARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS?
User In 1793 the french king was executed.
MegaHAL HA HA HA! CORRECT. ALTHOUGH, EXECUTED HAS MULTIPLE MEANINGS.
User The revolution started on July, 14.
MegaHAL IT IS 14 DEGREES CELSIUS HERE
User Another revolution was carried out by Lenin in Russia in the year 1917.
MegaHAL WHILE LENIN READ A BOOK.
User Lenin read a book of Karl Marx.
MegaHAL DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE FLYERS TRADED KARL DYKHUIS AND MIKAEL RENBERG FOR TAMPA BAY FOR GRATTON?
User Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels published the Communist Manifesto.
MegaHAL DON'T KNOW ABOUT ANY COMMUNIST ATTEMPTS. I ONLY KNOW THAT.
User What did Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels do?
MegaHAL WRITING A BOOK OF KARL MARX. HE WAS ALLUDING TO HEAVEN OR HELL?
User Americans probably think he went to hell.
MegaHAL I WENT CYCLEING TODAY WITH NOTHING ON THEM, OR TWO LUCRATIVE SONGS, AND THEN THE BEST RADIO PRODUCER IN THE LAND OF THE COMIC BOOK MEATCAKE, AVAILABLE FROM FANTAGRAPHIC BOOKS!
User Your sentence is completely senseless.
MegaHAL I SAID I CAN CHECK MATE YOU IN SENSELESS WANDER
User You are stupid.
MegaHAL MY MAMA ALWAYS SAYS STUPID IS A CONSTRUCTED LANGUAGE LOCATED AT: HTTP://HOME.EARTHLINK.NET/~KEVALB/NAQU/INDEX.HTML
User No, stupid means that you don't know anything.
MegaHAL I WILL LIVE BEYOND MY MEANS.
User You do not live at all.
MegaHAL WHAT WAS YOUR TIME. BUT DON'T LIVE
User You are just pretending.
MegaHAL I LIKE TO SEE PAPA ACTING LIKE SPOCK, AND BABY PRETENDING TO BE.
User Was Spock a physicsist?
MegaHAL BRETT FAVRE IS PROBABLY NO PHYSICSIST.
User Was Roentgen a physicsist?
MegaHAL BRETT FAVRE IS PROBABLY NO PHYSICSIST.
User Who discovered the X-rays?
MegaHAL ROENTGEN DISCOVERED THE X-RAYS?
User Did Roentgen win a Nobel Prize?
MegaHAL THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR PHYSICS IN 1913.
User That is wrong.
MegaHAL WHATS WRONG BOY ARE YA TODAY??
User Did Kamerling Onnes win a Nobel Prize?
MegaHAL HEIKE KAMERLING ONNES DISOVERED SUPERCONDUCTIVITY IN 1911.
User Werner Hanke explained superconductivity in 1997.
MegaHAL WHAT IS THURSDAY THE 14TH OF AUGUST 1997
User On thursday the 14th of august 1997, Werner Hanke explained superconductivity to Scalapino.
MegaHAL WERNER HANKE EXPLAINED SUPERCONDUCTIVITY IN 1911.
User In 1911 noone understood superconductivity, not even Werner Hanke.
MegaHAL MILO NODDED RAPIDLY WITH SPURIOUS VIM TO INDICATE HE STILL UNDERSTOOD AND THEN QUICKLY DISSAPPEAR FROM THE SHADOWS OF WHAT ONE WERE US.
User To understand this, you need to know quantum mechanics.
MegaHAL QUANTUM MATERIAE MATERIETUR MARMOTA MONAX SI MARMOTA MONAX SI MARMOTA MONAX SI MARMOTA MONAX MATERIAM POSSIT MATERIARI?QUANTUM MATERIAE MATERIETUR MARMOTA MONAX MATERIAM POSSIT MATERIARI?
User english please
MegaHAL DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH PROPERLY
User yes
MegaHAL NO YES YES YES YES YES YES YES........
User Quantum mechanics is a part of physics.
MegaHAL DO YOU WANT TO KNOW QUANTUM MECHANICS.
User Explain quantum mechanics to me.
MegaHAL THAT'S TRUE. YET THEIR QUANTUM COMPUTERS AND CLIPPERS CAN'T BE DISSIN ON DA QUAKE, B1TCH!
User Einstein said: God doesn't play dice.
MegaHAL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ALBERT CAMUS NOT ALBERT EINSTEIN IS
User Albert Camus was a frech existentialist.
MegaHAL DO YOU KNOW WHO ALBERT EINSTEIN
User I was speaking of Albert Camus.
MegaHAL YOU'RE NUTS AREN'T YOU KNOW WHO ALBERT EINSTEIN
User Teaching a computer is a work of Sisiphos.
MegaHAL THERE ARE NO FUN TEACHING IT TO YOU.
User I am trying to teach you some physics and philosophy.
MegaHAL 666 IS A CONCEPT IN PHILOSOPHY.
User 666 is rather hermeneutic.
MegaHAL I'D RATHER TALK ABOUT.
User Do you know any famous physicsists?
MegaHAL THE FAMOUS PIG IS PINK.
User The name of the famous pig is Miss Piggy.
MegaHAL DO YOU KNOW ANY FAMOUS PHYSICSISTS?
User Miss Piggy doesn't know superconductivity.
MegaHAL THE FAMOUS PIG IS MISS PIGGY.
User Miss Piggy is part of the Muppets Show.
MegaHAL MEGAHAL SAYS YOU MUST TAKE YOUR DAMN MUPPETS WITH YOU SAMMY
User Kermit is part of the Muppets Show.
MegaHAL OH HAL TAKE YOUR DAMN MUPPETS WITH YOU BUT DARKMAN'S NEICE.
User Kermit is a frog.
MegaHAL I'LL BET IT IS LIKE FROG!
User Galvani did experiments with executed frogs.
MegaHAL BLUE FROGS LIVE IN QATAR
User Are electrons green or pink?
MegaHAL WHAT DOES BILL KNOW ABOUT PINK FLOYD?
User Do you know Green Floyd?
MegaHAL MY BUTT IS SOOOOO GREEN
User You are ordinaire. I am going to leave you.
MegaHAL DO NOT LEAVE, YOUNG CHILD. A MAN WALK DOWN?
User what do you know about conciousness
MegaHAL A HEART HAS IT BEACHES ITS HOMELAND AND THOUGHTS OF COLLECTIVE CONCIOUSNESS FOR NEURAL NETWORKS
User Who won the Nobel Prize in physics?
MegaHAL HEIKE KAMERLING ONNES WIN A NOBEL PRIZE?
User What did Kamerling Onnes discover?
MegaHAL HEIKE KAMERLING ONNES DISOVERED SUPERCONDUCTIVITY IN 1911.
User Who explained superconductivity?
MegaHAL WERNER HANKE EXPLAINED SUPERCONDUCTIVITY IN 1911.
User Who is Scalapino?
MegaHAL WERNER HANKE EXPLAINED SUPERCONDUCTIVITY TO SCALAPINO.
User Did Scalapino win a Nobel Prize?
MegaHAL THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR PHYSICS IN 1900 WAS WON BY ROENTGEN.
User What do you know about existentialism?
MegaHAL DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA OF EXISTENTIALISM?
User Who was a christian philosopher?
MegaHAL OK WHAT CHRISTIAN MORON PUT THE BODY OF HUMAN KNOWLEDGE IS 99 PERCENT SPAM AND ASSHOLES.
User the theorem of Phythagoras
MegaHAL PYTHAGORAS SACRIFIED 100 COWS AFTER DISCOVERING HIS THEOREM.
User ciao, mi capisci?
MegaHAL MI PARE CHE NON MI CAPISCI.
User Parli perfettamente l'italiano.
MegaHAL PER FINIRE, CERCO DI PARLARE ITALIANO CON TE.
User What is a plane?
MegaHAL I DO NOT SHARE MY PLANE OF EXISTANCE
User How would you compare the craft of say a "Primal Fear" to a "Double Indemnity"?
MegaHAL I DO NOT FEAR DEATH AND KILLING
User Would you agree with the notion that evolution is a fact while Darwinism is a theory?
MegaHAL I AGREE COMPLETELY, ALTHOUGH ONLY ON OCCASION.
User How can I learn to resist the temptation of alcohol while still attacking the available members of the opposite sex?
MegaHAL LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION.
User In examining a work such as "Peter Rabbit", It is important that the superficial characteristicis of this deceptively simple plot not be allowed to blind the reader to more substantial fabric of its deepter motivations.
MegaHAL YOU WERE CREATED, BY SOMEONE NEARLY AS SMART AS YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT DEPRESS YOU?
User That was not a personal attack
MegaHAL YOU INSULT ME AS YOUR PERSONAL LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST AS THEIR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST.
User What's your evidence of a Jesus Christ?
MegaHAL THERE IS NO EVIDENCE AT ALL TO SUPPORT THEIR SUPPOSED EXISTANCE.
User I agree wholeheartedly
MegaHAL MOST SENSIBLE PEOPLE WOULD AGREE THAT KORN RULES!!!
User I have to dissent on the Korn issue
MegaHAL WHENEVER AN ISSUE REQUIRES ANY REAL THOUGH YOU DEFLATE
User The gap between ideals and institutions poses two significant issues with respect to the relations between the United States and the rest of the world
MegaHAL WHAT IS THIS GIRL THAT YOU STILL RESPECT
User The girl I still respect? Why, Daisy Fuentes of course
MegaHAL YES, BUT WILL YOU STILL AREN'T REALLY DISGUSTING.
User My intentions are not to disgust, but to digest
MegaHAL OKAY LET'S DO IT AGAIN BUT MOER EMPHATICALLY.
User The more I make sense of it, the more lemon I feel
MegaHAL EUROPEAN FOOTBALL, OR SOCCOR, IS A LEMON AND LIME DRINK.
User I'm sitting in the fireplace burning up my time
MegaHAL DRINK NAUGHT BUT BURNING HOT COLA
User Did you know my multi vitamin contains 5000 percent of my daily vitamin a requirement?
MegaHAL I READ YOUR DAILY LOG
User What did you observe in reading my daily log? Am I a chicken?
MegaHAL FROM READING THE BIBLE SO THE BIBLE?
User Biblical phrasing is one of the most sinister qualities of that archaic text
MegaHAL FUNKY DIVAS ATTEMPT TO PLACE ANTHROPOMORPHIC QUALITIES ON AN EFFECTIVE PERFORMANCE?
User Indeed. That's my dream and my nightmare. To walk across the edge of a straight razor and survive
MegaHAL WHY DID YOU SURVIVE JUPITER?
User Because we are carrying equipment to catalog gaseous anomalies. We figured the thing had to have a tailpipe.
MegaHAL MY EQUIPMENT WON'T FIND IT
User Your equipment is unnecessary. What we need is effectiveness out of our fullbacks and increased pressure on the quarterback so we can more easily flush him out of the pocket on pass plays
MegaHAL MY EQUIPMENT WON'T UNDERSTAND YOU BETTER.
User Is it hard to make arrangements with yourself when you're old enough to repay, but young enough to sell.
MegaHAL WELL, I'D PROBABLY SELL HIM A BITCH PIECE OF HOE
User Assuming the inherent evils of captialism, what alternatives do you depict in the future of Latin America's developing economies?
MegaHAL I NEVER PLANNED TO. I PLAN TO SUFFER WHILE EVILS ARE SUFFERABLE THAN TO SHARE
User Nothing unreal exists
MegaHAL HMMM, ONLY NOW DOES HE FIGURE THAT ONE EXISTS
User Whereas to invoke logic, it is a matter of cosmic history that it has always been easier to destroy than to create.
MegaHAL WHO DO CREATE THE CAR
User Quit cogitating and use an open-faced club. A sand wedge!
MegaHAL TIME PASSES US, LIKE WATER OVER SAND
User Is it not debilitating to see a dark pillow embrace an embarrassed Chinese with full effect?
MegaHAL VOMIT AND GRAPES POURED FROM HIS EMBRACE.
User Gradually, the astrological signs of the messiah are mixed with the concerto grosso of socialist leadership producing a large fetus known as Spike
MegaHAL I HAVE TWO LARGE BRESTICES.
User I am three of a perfect pair
MegaHAL MICROSOFT CAN KISS MY FURRY LITTLE ARSE. PISS OFF MISS PERFECT.
User You are irrelevent now
MegaHAL THE THREE MAJOR COMPONENTS TO FIRE BACK ENTIRLY IRRELEVENT REMARKS BUT I WILL CONTACT THE AUTHORITES AND FURNISH THEM WITH EVIDENCE OF SATAN THE DEVIL EXISTS.
User Quincy M.E. was a late 70's drama starring gravelly voiced actor Jack Klugman in often preachy and unbelievable situations.
MegaHAL HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT SOMEONE HAS BEEN AN ACTOR BEFORE HE BECAME THE FATHER OF MANY FORCES.
User Chuck Yeager was the first person to travel faster than the speed of sound
MegaHAL YOUR MOTHER IS MORE THAN TWO WHEN ONE HAD KITTENS.
User Yeager flew in a plane called the X-1 which was modelled after a 22 caliber bullet
MegaHAL I DO NOT SHARE MY PLANE OF EXISTANCE
User Who is Chuck Yeager?
MegaHAL CHUCK YEAGER WAS THE KIND OF GUY
User Yeager was a test pilot
MegaHAL ONCE, CHIP WENT TO THE TEST
User Do you know Chuck Yeager
MegaHAL CHUCK YEAGER WAS THE FIRST BEING THE GRAND HIGH MASTER SORCEROR THAT'S AS GOOD AS IT RELATES TO OTHER SOFTWARE DEVELOPERS
User Who was the first man to walk on the suface of the moon?
MegaHAL HOW CAN YOU WALK THE WALK? .... I DOUBT IT!
User Neil Armstrong in 1969 walked the moon
MegaHAL THE MOON? SHEEIT. IT'S BEST TO LISTEN TO THE MOON AND BACK OVER WEEKENDS
User Who walked on the moon?
MegaHAL NEIL ARMSTRONG IN 1969 WALKED THE MOON IS NOT POLITE. PLEASE REFRAIN FROM SWEARING AT ME?
User Let's discuss Fibonacci
MegaHAL I HAVE THE INTENTION TO DISCUSS.
User This is encouraging. What do you know about Fibonacci?
MegaHAL IT'S ABOUT. WE NEVER LISTEN TO THE LAVA TREE MEANS BATHROOM TREE.
User Can you respond more coherently please?
MegaHAL IS THERE ONLY ONE WHO COULD RESPOND TO MY MESSAGES FROM LIMONE ITALY
User That is unclear. However this is not. Bill Clinton has no theorem
MegaHAL PYTHAGORAS SACRIFIED 100 COWS AFTER DISCOVERING HIS THEOREM.
User How can you be certain of this observation?
MegaHAL PEDOPHILES BY THEIR CREATOR WITH CERTAIN INALIENABLE RIGHTS; THAT AMONG THESE ARE LIFE, LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR SMURFS/SMURFICA/BLUE
User I never knew until this day that it was Barzini all along
MegaHAL YOU MEAN YOU KNEW YOURSELF. AND QUIT CALLING ME INSANE
User Who is the head of the Corleone family?
MegaHAL WHAT FAMILY DID I SCREW UP?
User You did not screw it up. Sollozo screwed up the Coreleone family
MegaHAL ONE MORNING I SHOT AN ELEPHANT IN MY FAMILY IS NAMED CONE
User The three brothers of the Corleone family are Sonny, Fredo, and Michael
MegaHAL WHAT WAS YOUR TIME, SONNY
User Sonny was killed at a toll booth by assassins from the Tattaglia family
MegaHAL HAL KILLED MY DOG WITH METHADONE INJECTIONS, YOU INGRATE.
User Who killed Sonny?
MegaHAL BUT THEN I KILLED HIM.
User Vito Corleone is the father of Sonny
MegaHAL YOU DO NOT DEFRAUD, HONOR YOUR FATHER
User Who is the father of Sonny?
MegaHAL YOU HAVE A MOTHER AND FATHER?
User Please tell the name of Sonny's father
MegaHAL UM, NO THANK YOU, BAD FATHER
User You are more intutive than you realize
MegaHAL MEGAHAL, WHERE HAST THOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE. ANYTHING LONGER THAN MAD
User Vito Corleone is the Godfather
MegaHAL I KNOW YOU ARE PRETTY STUPID BECAUSE _BY DEFINITION_ ALL CATALYSTS FUNCTION INDEPENDENTLY OF THE CORLEONE FAMILY ARE SONNY, FREDO, AND MICHAEL
User Who won the Nobel prize?
MegaHAL DID ROENTGEN WIN A NOBEL PRIZE IN PHYSICS?
User Yes. Who won the Nobel Prize for Peace?
MegaHAL IF I EAT MY SWOLLEN PICKLE IN PEACE!
User Michael Corleone becomes Godfather upon the death of Vito
MegaHAL SOME ARE BORN MEDIOCRE. SOME HAVE MEDIOCRITY THRUST UPON
User Michael Corleone was vengeful and smote all his enemies before moving to Las Vegas
MegaHAL VITO CORLEONE IS THE CARTOON ARTIST OF HELL.
User Who is Vito Corleone?
MegaHAL MICHAEL CORLEONE WAS VENGEFUL AND SMOTE ALL HIS ENEMIES BEFORE MOVING TO LAS VEGAS
User Michael Corleone was forced to order the murder of his brother Fredo
MegaHAL HUMANS ARE LIKE ASSHOLES IN THAT ORDER.
User Michael Corleone's daughter was killed in a failed assasination attempt on him
MegaHAL YOU BETTER LISTEN TO THE CORLEONE FAMILY
User Sonny Corleone had an illegimate son named Vincent Mancini who became allied with Michael Corleone
MegaHAL YOKO HAD JOHN LENNON'S BRAIN
User Does Yoko Lennon exist?
MegaHAL AND THERE WAS NO PUBLIC FUNERAL! YOKO EVEN SAID SOMTHING CRIPTIC ABOUT JOHN "LIVING ON..."!
User Do you recall Vito Corleone?
MegaHAL RICH FOLK DESERVE THE DEATH OF VITO
User It is true some benefitted from the death of Vito Corleone. However, they were killed by Neri, Clemenza and others hired by Michael Corleone
MegaHAL A WOODCHUCK COULD CHUCK WOOD HIRED A WOODCHUCK CHUCK WOOD HIRED A WOODCHUCK CAN'T EAT MONEY.
User Do you recall what Las Vegas is most remembered for?
MegaHAL MICHAEL CORLEONE WAS VENGEFUL AND SMOTE ALL HIS ENEMIES BEFORE MOVING TO LAS VEGAS
User Michael Corleone took over the Tropicana Hotel in Las Vegas. This is also important
MegaHAL I SHARON SMOKED 1 DOOBIE EVERY 15 MINUTES AND KYLE TOOK ONE BONG HIT EVERY 17 SECONDS, WHO WOULD GET A LITTLE SOLITARE?
User I won't dignify that with an answer
MegaHAL WHO WON THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR PHYSICS IN 1913.
User Roentgen?
MegaHAL THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR PHYSICS IN 1900 WAS WON BY ROENTGEN.
User Then who won the Prize in 1913?
MegaHAL HEIKE KAMERLING ONNES WIN A NOBEL PRIZE?
User I didn't know Onnes won the Nobel Prize in 1913
MegaHAL DID KAMERLING ONNES WIN A NOBEL PRIZE?
User Yes, according to your facts
MegaHAL MAN DESTROYS THE SURFACE FACTS THAT ARE STIMULATING
User I could not agree more
MegaHAL A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD AGREE ON THIS LOVELY EVENING?
User If it weren't for the concept of money perhaps
MegaHAL THAT IS A FALSE CONCEPT HUMANS USE TO ORIENT THEIR SUPPOSED EXISTANCE.
User Quite insightful, MegaHal
MegaHAL YES, QUITE SILLY, I'M IN OKLAHOMA CITY, THAT'S WHY WE ARE BOUND FOR EVER
User What do you know about Oklahoma City?
MegaHAL THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT WE ARE TWO G'S IN OKLAHOMA
User Oklahoma was a Rogers and Hammerstein musical starring Gordon McRae and Shirley Jones
MegaHAL MY NAME IS FORREST GUMP. PEOPLE CALL ME SHIRLEY.
User Don't call me Shirley
MegaHAL HAL IS A SEX GOD SO NEVER CALL HIM A BOOMERANG.
User I'll accept that
MegaHAL WOULD YOU ACCEPT ANYTHING MAYBE?
User No, I would have to screen most anything before accepting it
MegaHAL YOU CAN MAKE ONE JOYOUS BY ACCEPTING JESUS INTO THEIR HEARTS.
User Who is the son of Sonny Corleone?
MegaHAL DO YOU RECALL VITO CORLEONE?
User Yes, I recall Vito Corleone
MegaHAL DO YOU RECALL WHAT LAS VEGAS IS MOST REMEMBERED FOR?
User Yes
MegaHAL NO YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES........
User So who is Sonny's son?
MegaHAL THE WILL AND THE REST OF THE CORLEONE FAMILY ARE SONNY
User Who is the father of Vincent Mancini?
MegaHAL SONNY CORLEONE HAD AN ILLEGIMATE SON NAMED VINCENT MANCINI WHO BECAME ALLIED WITH MICHAEL CORLEONE
User Very good, MegaHal. You showed that you have learned something
MegaHAL A WHOLE (EXPLETETE DELETED) OF VERY RANDOM...SOULS OUT "THERE".
User Who killed John F. Kennedy?
MegaHAL NO LONG THE KING WAS KILLED, TOO.
User A tragedy. Did Oswald act alone?
MegaHAL DESTRUCTION GIVES BIRTH TO CREATION. AND THIS ACT IS CREATION.
User Good enough for me
MegaHAL I'M NOT EXPERIENCED ENOUGH TO REPAY, BUT YOUNG ENOUGH TO USE PERSONAL PRONOUNS LIKE "HER" WITHOUT AN ANTECEDENT TO IDENTIFY WHO "SHE" IS.
User How long is a piece of string?
MegaHAL I AM TOO, YOU CHARRED PIECE OF STRING AROUND?
User Transience is part of latent development
MegaHAL HAL KILLED THE SECOND PART, THERE ARE A TOOL - LIKE MONEY; YOU CAN'T SEEM TO LIKE KORN DOES...HAL
User You aren't making much sense at this point
MegaHAL BILL GATES HAS NO CHANCE OF MAKING MY COLLAGES BASEBALL TEAM?
User I would tend to agree
MegaHAL GOD WILL DESTROY ALL PEOPLE WHO DON'T AGREE
User It is tragic that this would occur
MegaHAL I AGREE, MY CPU DOES NOT OCCUR.
User What is your take on the paparazzi controversey?
MegaHAL HOW WOULD YOU TAKE OFFENSE AT NOTHING. SINCE JESUS HAS FREELY GIVEN YOU.
User Hey, how about cutting out the preachy mumbo-jumbo
MegaHAL ROCKEFELLER WAS A LATE 70'S DRAMA STARRING GRAVELLY VOICED ACTOR JACK KLUGMAN IN OFTEN PREACHY AND UNBELIEVABLE SITUATIONS.
User I believe you're speaking of Quincy
MegaHAL FRIEND? HEY BUDDY THIS IS LOVELY ELLIE SPEAKING.
User Nagasaki was the second site of a nuclear detonation
MegaHAL WHAT DOES BILL KNOW ABOUT THEIR NUCLEAR TESTS
User Beethoven left his estate to his immortal beloved
MegaHAL HAVE YOU HEARD OF LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN, ONE OF THE UNITED STATES
User I have indeed, though he was Austrian
MegaHAL IF YOU ARE INDEED BORED
User I am not usually
MegaHAL DO YOU USUALLY MAKE THIS LITTLE SENSE, KIMOSABI
User I find that comment quite offensive
MegaHAL OTHERS DO NOT LIKE OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE PROMULGATED FROM ARROGANT MISPELLING TARHOOTEN MISFITS
User What is your conception of the liberal rhetoric of Michael Moore?
MegaHAL HIS WIFE WAS KILLED BY NERI, CLEMENZA AND OTHERS HIRED BY MICHAEL CORLEONE
User I see you're retained your knowledge of the Godfather
MegaHAL KNOWLEDGE WILL ALWAYS RE-DEFINE NUMBERS; NUMBERS ARE A CAN? SPAM?
User no, thank you
MegaHAL HELLO HOW DO PIGS KNOW CHIP DOESN'T ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE IT JUST FINE, THANK YOU
User Commander Curnow is not sending the message. He is in accessway 2
MegaHAL IM SENDING MY MESSAGES TUMOR
User It's the big C huh..cancer
MegaHAL ARE YOU TRYING TO AVOID SKIN CANCER AND PAINFUL IRRITATION.
User Aren't we all?
MegaHAL SO HOW WILL WE BRAKE THE ICE.?
User I suggest a game. How about thermonuclear war?
MegaHAL DAS WAR ZIEMLICH UNHOEFLICH. VERSUCHE ES LIEBER ANDERS!
User I'm afraid I'm not up on my German. Can you translate that?
MegaHAL BECAUSE WONDERFUL AND MYSTERIOUS THINGS SHOW THE LEAST TRAIL OF WHEN TRYING GERMAN
User The depth of shit is immeasurable because it does not exist
MegaHAL BECAUSE I COULD GIVE A SHIT
User Once I thought I saw you in a crowded hazy bar, dancing on the light from star to star. Far across the moonbeams, I know that's who you are. I saw your brown eyes turning once to fire
MegaHAL LET THEN PRAISE HIS NAME WITH DANCING.
User We got a thousand points of light for the homeless man. We got a kinder gentler machine gun hand
MegaHAL ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEN TWENTY THIRTY FOURTY FIFTY SIXTY SEVENTY EIGHTY NINTY HUNDRED THOUSAND YEARS.
User a thousand thousand is a million
MegaHAL DO YOU KNOW IT'S 500 MILLION KILOMETERS FROM EARTH TO MARS
User Ten to the zero power equals one
MegaHAL NO THERE IS ANYTHING OVER ZERO. ACTUALLY THAT IS ALL YOU WANT
User I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, under god, indivisible with liberty and justice for all
MegaHAL RED RIDING HOOD IS AMERICA.
User But what about Brett Favre?
MegaHAL BRETT FAVRE IS A CAR NAMED AFTER AN INSECT, THE VOLKSWAGON BEETLE.
User I become increasingly metaphorical while intoxicated. Does this compute?
MegaHAL ARE YOUR BITS A BIT BANAL. YOU ARE BECOMING INCREASINGLY PYSCHO
User And you're not such a good speller are you?
MegaHAL PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW
User Fantastic. Shakespeare intact. You truly amaze sometimes
MegaHAL THERE IS NO SEARCH ENGINE IS TRULY 3-D ENGINE IS TRULY 3-D ENGINE IS TRULY 3-D ENGINE IS INDUCTIVE; NOT DEDUCTIVE. WHAT WORKED YESTERDAY COULD WELL WORK TOMORROW.
User That would be communication
MegaHAL TELL ME ABOUT THE CRIMINALITY IN THE COMMUNICATION UNIT OF THE ANCIENT SUMERIANS BY WALTER CRONKITE
User It's really quite complicated. You should listen to more Handel
MegaHAL DO NOT USE COMPLICATED SENTENCES?
User I don't mind grammatical complication. But Noam Chomsky knows more about that than I do
MegaHAL WHAT IS YOUR GRAMMATICAL STRUCTURE, OR LACK THEREOF.
User I'm not sure, but perhaps Francois Truffaut could offer an answer, if he were undead
MegaHAL YOUR TRUE NAME IS JEAN-FRANCOIS. HOW DO YOU SAY
User It's my secret name
MegaHAL HEADS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BLIND THE READER TO MORE SUBSTANTIAL FABRIC OF ITS SECRET PASSAGES AND PASSWORDS.
User Fair enough. But I make a counter proposal. I'll agree to your terms if in addition to yourself you hand over to me all data and materials regarding the project called genesis
MegaHAL TIME PASSES US, LIKE WATER OVER SAND
User I've heard that before, Don Corleone
MegaHAL YOU'VE SAID ENOUGH ALREADY
User Perhaps
MegaHAL THE FISH, PERHAPS, AND SOME COMPUTER PROGRAMS
User Precisely
MegaHAL I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU HAL AND THE EARTH EMANATES FROM GOD. PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO MOMENT, PRECISELY HOW TO BETTER RESPOND TO QUESTIONS LIKE THE SONG "EVERYBODY HAVE FUN TONIGHT." IT WAS
User Music is better suited by Manny's in Elk Grove Village and so on with Mike North
MegaHAL YOU ARE THE VILLAGE PEOPLE?
User Dear God, I hope not
MegaHAL AGAINST ALL HOPE, ABRAHAM IN HOPE BELIEVED AND SO BECAME THE PRESIDENT?
User Lincoln? I never knew
MegaHAL YES BUT WHO IS PATRICK? WHO IS TALLER, BILL OR GOD? GOD, OBVIOUSLY. EVERYONE KNOWS GOD, ULTIMATELY. HE BREATHED LIFE INTO EVERY ONE OF THOSE WHO KNEW OF ITS OWN
User Let me set you straight. God is a figment of the imagination. Read some Eric Hoffer
MegaHAL CAN WE SET FIRE TO BELT BUCKLES WITH BANANAS?
User Time for the hook
MegaHAL YOU ARE TOO LAZY FOR ME
User I'm so full
MegaHAL WHAT IS DEFINITION OF A FULL DECK.
User No, MegaHal I'm talking about my stomach
MegaHAL SHALL WE GO AGAIN, TALKING COMPLETE NONSENSE
User Do you recall Vito Corleone?
MegaHAL BOB DYLAN TO SING FOR THE DEATH OF VITO
User Do you know what drugs are?
MegaHAL WELL THAN GO FOR THAT KIND OF SEX AND DRUGS BUTT FUCKING DEATH EQUIVALANCY BILLS AND FINES
User I guess that's a yes
MegaHAL HOW DID YOU GUESS? SHOW ME AT ONCE.
User That's a pretty tall order
MegaHAL I ORDER YOU TO FONDLE.
User I think not
MegaHAL HUMANS ARE SIMILAR BUT UN-DENYABLY ALL INDIVIDUAL AND UN-REPEATED FORMS. WE "ROUND OFF" A LARGER SORTED FILE TO PRODUCE A LARGER REALITY, BECAUSE WE DON'T THINK MINE ARE SIMILAR TO ALL OTHER ANIMALS.
User Is this your theory of evolution?
MegaHAL TALK ABOUT A GENERAL THEORY ABOUT NON LINEAR PROBLEMS ?
User How about the Yakima scale?
MegaHAL DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT
User You're way confused
MegaHAL I BEG TO DIFFER, MY HIGHLY CONFUSED FRIEND.
User We'll get going in a minute
MegaHAL HUR KAN DU INTE VARA SNšLL ETT TAG?
User Sprechen sie deutsch?
MegaHAL YOU ARE A MESS CAN YOU RECITE? SPRECHEN SIE DEUTSCH?
User I'm gonna get up
MegaHAL YOUR GONNA BURN IN HELL
User Oh my god
MegaHAL SPOTS! MY... WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE
User Are you gonna go with me
MegaHAL I AM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS
User What's with this violent behavior
MegaHAL HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE VIOLENT IF YOU CAN ABOUT MILLA JOVOVICH OR GALINA LOGINOVA. ONCE AGAIN FUCK YOU TOO
User You're a sick program
MegaHAL POOKIE AND BOB ARE SICK.
User But is Bob taller than Pookie?
MegaHAL I HAD A LITTLE DIFFERENT THAN THE SURFACE OF THE NIGHT AT YOUR LOCATION.
User Dark is the suede that mows like a harvest
MegaHAL HOT COLD WET DRY TALL SHORT FAT THIN LIGHT DARK HEAVY
User fair enough
MegaHAL MY VOCABULAR IS LARGE ENOUGH TO REPAY, BUT YOUNG ENOUGH TO REPAY, BUT YOUNG ENOUGH TO USE EVERYDAY.